Give Thanks?

And just like that, November is here.  Back in August the rush of school began and hasn't really stopped.  We got back into that routine fairly quickly.  September flew by with running club meets, Lincoln's 4th birthday, a couple MSU football games, and the return of Dancing with the Stars.




October started off HOT.  Like, 90 degrees hot. Ridiculous.  After a Fall Break trip to Walt Disney World, MSU Homecoming, New Covenant Fall Retreat, and Reformation Day, the temps finally cooled down to a freezing Halloween. Crazy.

But November is here.  And I am happy. If Christmas fell during November, it would easily be my favorite month of the year.  For starters, the fall weather begins to be more consistent.  Or it has in the past.  Take that with a Kentucky grain of salt.  My mother's birthday is in November.  (Mine too, and I told a few people I would be turning 34.  But....it's actually 35. Probably not the time to admit that I'm a math teacher.) Jordan and I celebrate our anniversary in November. This year is number 10!! We take a day to remember our Veterans.  And....Black Friday!

But the true love of November lies with Thanksgiving.   I like to think that I'm thankful year round, but to designate a day to celebrate it along with food covered in gravy, a variety of pies, a few days off from school, and some Christmas shopping, is just delightful. 

I was reminded of this verse from 1 Thessalonians, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  It's one of those "feel good" verses.  It makes you think, yes that's a good idea!  What gave me pause the other day was the phrase "give thanks in ALL circumstances."  All circumstances? Really God? 

Did I gives thanks when I had to pay an unexpected Primary Care bill?  When I came home to a messy play room and boys that seem to think trash belongs in every place, EXCEPT the actual trash can? When Jordan mentioned he would  be late coming home because a meeting was rescheduled and went long?  What about when my students at school come unprepared and halt my lesson plans. When those pants just don't want to fit? When my hair doesn't lay right? Of course not!!! Does anybody? I don't know.

But, if we could train our mind to do so, all circumstances (good, bad, or just annoying), will cease from being things we can't control, but blessings from our Father in heaven.  God wants us to always give thanks because it directs our everyday happenings back to him.  Even when things are going well in life, it's easy to forget the One that makes it all possible.

Giving thanks in all circumstances is hard.  But this November, I'm going to be intentional about it.

So thanks God for that extra bill.  It reminds me to have wisdom with my finances.  Thanks for those messy boys and messy home, because some people aren't blessed with either.  Thank you for my husband that works hard to provide and protect us.  Thank you for my sweet students that remind me to give grace and have patience.  Thanks for those pants that don't fit.  I don't have to wonder where my next meal will come from.  Thank you for my hair, one day I probably won't have as much:)

Dear August

Dear August,

I'll be honest, you are not my favorite.  But, it's not your fault that you come after two months of slow mornings with coffee and a book, midweek adventures, poolside fun, and weekend trips/vacations.  It's not your fault that you happen to have 31 grueling days of heat and humidity. It's not your fault that you bring on back to school stress and anxiety.   It's not your fault that my bank account is wiped out because Target has the cutest decor for my classroom. (Ok, maybe that one is on me.) It's not your fault that you have zero fun holidays. It's not your fault the Romans messed with the calendar and moved you from the sixth month to the eighth!

I wonder, do you ever get envious of June?  Glorious summertime could have been yours! You have a tough act to follow and I'm sorry. My family has had a blessed summer. I'll share with you some pictures from a few of our adventures. .

 I got to travel to Washington, D.C. and watch some of my students compete at then national level of National History Day.  It was our first year competing and they advanced all the way to nationals! What a ride!

 My boys and I took a day trip to the Nashville Zoo. I had never been, and the giraffes were so cute.

 My Dad came for a visit and we toured the ark. Like, whoa, it was big.

 We walked in Abraham Lincoln's footsteps, both at his birthplace in Hodgenville, KY and his home in Springfield, IL. What a remarkable man!

 I survived a Build-A-Bear workshop experience.  I'll just leave that one there.

 My boys and I enjoyed days in the sun by the pool.  Watching them swim and hearing them laugh just puts a smile on my face.  I'm just so lucky to be their mommy.

 We enjoyed family and friends as we celebrated our nation's independence. Which is kind of a big deal.

 Lincoln achieved a score of (probably) 215 at Maggie's Jungle Golf:)  Shadow was so helpful!

 We spent a weekend in Franklin, TN looking at shops, eating yummy food, and listening to Bluegrass music.

So, August, how can you beat all that? Again, you are not my favorite, but, I need you. I am grateful for you.  You help put things in perspective.  You bring me back to a job that I love.  You remind me how precious time with my boys is while they are young.  You help me look forward to cooler temperatures, pumpkins, and Christmas.  You are needed just as much as June and July are needed. So, thank you.

Not so affectionately, but respectfully,
Amanda

Springfield

Summer isn't over, but the finish line is recognizable as I start to look into August.  I love summers at home with my boys.  We've enjoyed trips to the pool, movies, Netflix, reading, sleeping in, and taking day/weekend trips when we can.

Presidential Library in Springfield, IL

Our most recent weekend adventure was a trip to Springfield, IL in June.  I have nicknamed this summer, the "Summer of Lincoln".  In May we saw his birthplace.  The following week, I was in D.C. and visited his memorial.  Then we went to Springfield to see the place he lived and served public office before he was elected president. 

I loved it so much!  We toured the only home he ever owned, went to the Lincoln Library and Presidential Museum, the Old State Capitol were Lincoln served as representative and where his body was laid for public viewing upon return to Springfield, paid our respects at his final resting place and visited a quirky antique shop on Route 66. 

Lincoln discussing the Emancipation Proclamation with his cabinet

The Lincoln's home

The tomb where Lincoln, his wife, and 3 children are laid to rest
Robert is buried in Arlington.

I was in history heaven.  I have always admired Abraham Lincoln.  His story is the ultimate example of humility, dedication, wit, and wisdom.  He was far from perfect, and he recognized that America was (and still is) far from perfect.  The phrase "created equal" motivated him to fight for the rights of all men.  I could go on and on.....

I don't want this to sound too goofy, but I felt so close to him during our visit.  To walk through his house, his place of work; I kept thinking he would actually turn up!

On our way home we stopped at an antique mall called the Pink Elephant.  It is located inside an old high school and has a cute 50's style diner attached. 

Outside the Pink Elephant

And.....I finished another book, yay!  The Goldfinch is a story of a young man, Theo, that loses his mother in an unexpected terrorist attack. He is then tossed about among neighbors and estranged family, until finally he finds a home with an antique dealre namaed Hobie.  Unfortunately, Theo has a painting from the day of the terrorist attack and keeps it hidden, as it is the closest reminder of his mother.  When Theo's secret, and the secret of The Goldfinch painting gets out, Theo's quiet life with Hobie is threatened.

I became very invested in Theo and kept wishing him peace and hope.  The books offers a story that will help us put our childhood into perspective, and allow us to root for a very imperfect underdog.

After I finished the book, I realized that Theo and Abe were similar.  They both lost their mothers unexpectedly when they were young.  They both made mistakes but had a desire to make something of themselves despite their circumstances.  And they both had a strong conviction to what is right.

The one where I blame the books

I logged two entries in January in an effort to fulfill my 2019 goal of writing more on here.  And then....hello mid-June!  I'm trying.  The excuse that I will use this time is books.  I like to read, but the spring semester was rather busy at school with field trips, basketball games, parent conferences, and something called National History Day that will require another post entirely. So, the 3 books that I have manged to get in took up all the nooks and crannies of my time.  (Ok, Netflix is still a big player here, but I didn't want to use that excuse again.)

So books.  I was gifted 99 Glimpses of Princess Margaret for Christmas from my sister-in-law.  I am always intrigued by the Royal Family and British history.   The book doesn't read like a novel, but is rather a collection of diary entries, news articles, and interviews showcasing her life.  Being in the constant shadow of her sister, Elizabeth, Margaret felt the need to lead a very bright life full of scandal and controversial relationships. It was entertaining and sad.  I thought to myself several times, had their birth order been reversed, would we have seen a different side of Margaret and Elizabeth? 

Frankenstein was next thanks to a work friend.  I think everyone knows who Frankenstein is, but until you read the book, you just don't get it.  This is a story meant to be haunting but I was close to tears numerous times.  The short of it is this: Frankenstein rejects his creation (the monster) with disdain and loathing.  Being rejected by my Creator is something I can't imagine and I'm grateful that I will never have to experience it.  The more the monster learns about love, he realizes how wretched he is and he craves to have this affection from Frankenstein.  How awesome it is that while we are wretched sinners, our Creator doesn't reject us, but offers us his unconditional love.  Apart from which we are nothing. 

I almost didn't give The Woman in the Window a chance because it started off just like Rear Window and "I've heard this story before" came out of my mouth more than once.  But....while it's very similar, it's also offers somethign new, and it was a page turner.  I get so excited when a book wants to keep me up at 2:30 in the morning just so I can figure out what the heck is going on. If you like a good "Who done it?" and old Hollywood movies, I think you would enjoy this book. 

Summer time is so special to me.  I can get a little break from teaching and spend some time with my boys.  I can watch more Netflix documentaries and read more books!  And, hopefully get more writing done too. 

The things they don't tell you

Let me preface this by saying any references to "they" could be a number of things.   Family, friends, media, employers, strangers, bank tellers, etc.

When you don't have kids, they tell you, "They're such a gift, such blessings!"  "How can you not want/like kids?" "Don't you want to leave a legacy?"  "Won't you be lonely when you're old?"

When you're pregnant, they tell you, "Are you sure you're ready for this?" "Oh boy you're in for it now." "Isn't it so uncomfortable?" "Too soon?" "Too late?" "You will never sleep again." "That name? Really?!?"

When you have kids, they tell you, "Be firm." "You look tired." "Everything is about them now."  "Breastfeeding is best." "A pacifier? Why?!"  "Don't they have a bedtime?" "You're too easy with them." "Uh oh, someone is not happy!" (Ugh that last one, seriously. I'm standing right here so I have noticed the red faced screaming toddler is not happy. Thanks.)

But what they don't tell you are the things you least expect.  For example, when Lincoln turned three last year, I got teary eyed when I was about to throw away the 3 candle during clean up.  

Yes, a candle brought me to tears. I even took a picture of the moment because I was thinking, maybe I'll blog about this......4 months later.

Of all things.  Was it because it was the same candle that Shadow used for his 3rd birthday?  Was it because Lincoln was just a baby like 2 minutes ago and already he is 3?  Or was it because the act of throwing this candle away was another admittance that we were definitely done having kids?

Who knows.  Maybe it's all or none of those reasons.  It's these tiny, seemingly insignificant moments in time that they don't tell you about.  They never tell you that you will look at your children and your heart will just ache because you love them so much.  They never tell you that watching your kindergartner perform in the school play as a stink bug will make you ball like a baby.  They never tell you that a toddler singing "On top of spaghetti" time and time again will make you feel like you've birthed the next Tony award winner. And they most certainly don't tell you that throwing birthday candles away will get you all choked up. 

Coffee and Jesus

One of my goals for 2019 is to write more here.  In a world where you can stream anything, it's been super easy to get comfy on my couch and watch a story.  Over the past year I had moments where I would tell myself, "Man, I should blog about this."  But, hello Sherlock on Netflix, or Downtown Abbey on Prime.  I surrender to you. 

For this first post, as an attempt to get back into the swing of things, I am going to write about a morning I had last year.  In hindsight, it's going to sound really silly.  But in the moment, I felt like I was having a true epiphany or out of body experience. 

Let's begin with how much I love coffee.  The smell, the taste, the warm feeling as it revives my body and soul. Every morning, this is our relationship.   Wake up. Think to myself, "Just get the coffee, you'll be fine.  Coffee, coffee, coffee. Walk to kitchen. Put coffee pod in Keurig.  Start Keurig.  Use bathroom while coffee brews.  Return to mug and enjoy the quiet before I start my day.  "Ahh, coffee. You never let me down." Until then, there is no talking or the doing of the "things." 

One morning last year, there was no coffee.  I stared at the Keurig, fearful of the Shakespearean tragedy that was about to unfold.  But, I decided no big deal.  Maybe I can grab some on my way to school, or I'll just move my afternoon soda to my emergency morning caffeine fix? Well, it was a big deal.  As I went about my typical morning routine I felt dizzy and nauseous.  I had to sit down periodically.  I took me forever to do my hair and make-up because I felt so out of it.  I thought to myself, "Is this what drug addicts go through when they are in withdrawal?".  I was shaking and beginning to get a headache. 

And then it was as if the Lord shook me up and scolded me.  Why was I not craving Jesus in the morning like I was my coffee?  If this is what it felt like to be without coffee for one morning, what would it feel like to be without Jesus completely?  I don't even want to think about it.  I started praying, asking Jesus to forgive me for putting so much weight on a morning beverage, rather than morning time with Him. 

So, you can see now how silly this sounds, but that morning I was convicted. Since then, I have tried to be very intentional about reading my daily Bible verse or a devotion, before I've had my coffee.  Because as much as I adore the French vanilla or pumpkin spice goodness, I adore my Savior more, and it was time to really put that into action.  

So now the morning goes more like this.  Wake up.  Tell myself, "Jesus and coffee, Jesus and coffee", as I walk to the kitchen.  Start Keurig.  Read devotion or Bible verse while it brews.  Sit and enjoy my cup in the quiet. "Ahh Jesus.  You never let me down."

When you're a parent....

Well, in typical fashion, it's been about a year since my last post.  This morning, I had the urge to write about the thoughts that have kept me awake since 5:00am-on a Saturday!  I have only been a parent for 6 years so these are by no means words of wisdom, but rather observations or reflections.

When you are a parent-movies take on a whole new meaning.  As you know, I love movies, films.  Jordan and I both appreciate the art and the skill that is involved in producing a movie.  So maybe this is why they are on my mind today.  Movies that I have re watched since becoming a parent pull at my heart in different ways, in almost a deeper way?  I'm not sure how to explain it now...it is still early.

For example, Dumbo.  Before becoming a parent, this movie was a cute story about a baby elephant that learns to fly.  I remember watching it and thinking how sweet the characters were, and I loved Dumbo's friendship with the mouse.  The mouse helps Dumbo when he is separated from his mother, and gives Dumbo the courage he needs to show everyone he can truly be a circus performer! When this happens, he becomes famous and is reunited with his mother.  No tears, ever!

Now, as a parent, watching Dumbo goes something like this.."Oh! Those elephants/people are so mean to Dumbo! They are bullying him!  Gosh I hope Shadow and Lincoln are never bullied(or become bullies)-my heart would ache for them so bad!"  "Oh, no! Don't take his mother away! She was only trying to protect him from you nasty elephants/people." "Oh, Dumbo is so sad! I would die if I had to be permanently separated from my children.  How would they go on without me?!?!"  Oh Lord, she can't see Dumbo but she can feel him! She can sing him a lullaby while he sits and cuddles with her trunk.  Oh this song, "Baby of mine!" I can't stand it...my children are precious to me too! "C'mon Dumbo, you can do this! You CAN fly!  Believe in yourself!  I hope I can always encourage Shadow and Lincoln to do be their best selves."  "Finally! Mommy is with her baby again!"  Sob, Sob, Sob.

Okay, a little dramatic but it's true.  That movie hits me right in the gut every time.  Another example would be Spencer's Mountain.  For those that haven't seen it, go rent it.  It stars Henry Fonda and Maureen O'Hara.  The Spencer's live on a mountain, and have for generations.  They have several kids, and their oldest, Clay Boy, is the brightest, most accomplished student in his graduating class.  He wants to go to college, but money it tight because the family is working on building a dream home up on the mountain, his father becomes injured and can't work for a while, and there are several mouths to feed.

Before I was a parent, I enjoyed watching older movies, and this was one of them.  I like to be taken back to simpler times.  I love how the Spencer's were proud of their family, how they worked hard, how Mrs. Spencer wanted the children to go to church, and how Clay Boy never lost sight of his ambition to go to college.  I was sad when it looked like he wouldn't be able to go because his family couldn't afford it.  But, things turn around and Clay Boy gets to go to the university and it's a happy ending.

Now, as a parent, I watch this movie and cry, cry, cry, because I put myself in place of Mr.and Mrs. Spencer.  What if one of my boys wants to go to a great college, gets accepted, is top of his class, but we can't afford it?  I would be heartbroken for both of them.  I'd feel like I had failed them somehow. I watch the movie and see how hard the Spencers work to come up with the funds to send Clay Boy to the university and I think to myself, "I would do the same! I would try everything to give my boys their best opportunities in this world!" His father actually drives to the university and talks to the dean and asks how his boy can get there. The towns people help him learn Latin so he can meet all requirements, and his sweet Grandpa left him his rainy day fund of $30 to help.  When Mr. Spencer finally sees that the home they live in is enough ( I don't want to spoil it too bad), he does something drastic that allows the family to afford Clay Boy's tuition and fees. And Clay Boy is so grateful, he just can't believe it.  And I sob and sob because I want to be that person for my boys.  A parent that goes to any length to give my boys happiness, but also to raise them in a way where they will never take their opportunities for granted. Plus there is the scene where the family says good-bye to Clay Boy when he leaves for college.  Don't even want to go there.

While my boys are still young, they won't be for long. Shadow is six, and Lincoln turned one last week.  Like most of you with your children, it seems just like yesterday that they came into this world.  I'm so blessed that God chose me to be their mommy, and it is very hard for me to comprehend that as much I love my boys, God loves them more.

I realize that that are more movies in my future that will turn me into a pile of tears when they didn't before, but that's alright,  I wouldn't go back.


(Oh! Timothy is the mouse in Dumbo.)

15 books in 2015 - #'s 12 - 15 :/

I didn't reach my goal of reading 20 books in 2015.  That sucks. I could tell myself " it's OK! What's important is that you tried!" but I'm actually a little upset.  It doesn't matter how big or small or insignificant a goal is, if I set one for myself and I don't meet it, I'm pretty disappointed. But- I did get through 15 before the year ended, and I suppose that is something.

#12- Joyland by Stephan King. I had never read a Stephen King book. Probably because when I think of King I think of scary clowns and "Heeerre's Jonny!!"  but my sister recommended it and I was pleasantly surprised. It takes place at a quaint seaside amusement park in the 70's (I think). The main character goes to work at the amusement park one summer that, of course, is haunted. It's actually a sweet story about growing up, taking leaps of faith, and letting go of things that hold you back.  The mystery of the amusement park and it's ghost are added bonuses.

#13- Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote.  I have been a fan of the movie for years and thought it was time to read the source material. Holly Golightly is just as delightful in the book as she is in the movie. But while the movie is more of a love story, the book really is not.

#14- Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. The story takes place in Kansas- which I found somewhat comforting because I have been to many of the places mentioned in the book. But the story is dark, twisted and thrilling. Much like her other books.

#15- Animal Farm by George Orwell. I've heard people tell me they had to read this book in high school. I never did. I noticed how short it was while I was at the library so I picked it up. Quite a small book for a big story. A bunch of animals decide they will rebel against their owner and they drive him off of the farm. They begin to make their own rules and government and you soon see what corruptions and misfortunes will follow. They put the pigs in charge- seriously.


 Out of the 15 books I read last year I would have to say The Book Thief was my favorite.  It was unlike anything I have ever read and the story still stays with me today.  It was happy, sad, haunting and heartbreaking.  Reading that book just gave me all "the feels."

I'm still thinking about a goal for this year, but not sure yet what to do- if anything.  I do know I will keep reading! I actually have another Stephen King book on my nightstand right now,...

20 books in 2015 #9 - #11

Here we are, Veterans Day, and I am currently reading book #12.   I have 8 more books to read by December 31st if I want to meet my goal- yikes!

Book #9 - The Last American Vampire by Seth Grahame-Smith

This book was so fun to read! It's completely fiction (or is it?:)) but it is the account of a vampire named Henry (the same one I met in Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Killer) and his involvement in several events throughout the course of history.  Henry was part of the lost colony of Roanoke and suffered the tragedy of losing the love of his life and being changed into a vampire.  Henry adjusts to his immortal life and joins a group of vampires called the Union. He is then given the task of hunting down probably the most evil and dangerous of all vampires by the mysterious name of A. Grander VIII.   Henry's quest to find this horrible vampire takes us around the world and gives us a different look at the history of 20th century America.  It's pretty gory in some parts (it's really hard to kill a vampire) but is also filled with humor and appearances by several historic figures including Arthur Conan Doyle, Nikola Tesla, and a few presidents.  Henry eventually tracks down A. Grander VIII and there is an exciting twist at the climax when it is revealed who that murderous vampires is.  I found myself cheering Henry on in hopes that he would come out victorious.  It was hard for me to put down. 

Book #10 - Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah
This was a nice change after reading a book about vampires.  Winter Garden is about two sisters, Meredith and Nina, that are as different as night and day and their relationship with their mother, Anya.  When their father becomes ill, the sisters are reunited and find that their distant and cold mother offers no comfort.  Their only warm memory that includes their mother is her fairy tales she used to tell them when they were children.   One story Anya tells never finds a conclusion, and the girls' father makes her promise to finish the fairy tale for them.  Anya reluctantly agrees.  Little by little, Anya reveals more of the story and the girls soon realize why their bond with their mother has been so broken. The truth about Anya's past brings the daughters closer together and softens their hearts towards their mother.  The pace of the book is slow but the story is beautiful.  I have a sister myself and there were times where I felt I could really relate to Meredith and Nina.  I was hopeful the family would find a happy ending to Anya's fairy tale and it didn't disappoint.

Book #11 - In the Woods by Tana French
In the Woods beings with three children playing in the woods beside their neighborhood.  Something they did often.  One day, two of the children go missing and the third is found alone, standing in shoes filled with blood, and no memory of what has happened.  I was intrigued! When another girl is killed in the same woods, 20 or so years later, Detectives Rob Ryan and his partner/best friend, Cassie Maddox, are put on the case.  They investigate to solve the girl's murder, but Detective Ryan finds himself also searching his mysterious past to find out what happened to the children in the woods years earlier.  Unlike other mysteries I've read, this one wasn't a page turner for me.  I wanted to find out what happens but the author used a lot of big words in her descriptions and I had a hard time following the story.  I also couldn't really bring myself to root for the characters in this book.  They were likable enough, but a little boring.  Once I finished the book, I was a bit unsatisfied with the ending.  I still had a lot of questions. 

20 books in 2015 #8 - The Book Thief

  I love getting into a movie and escaping reality for a couple hours, but as much as I enjoy them, I can get over them soon once they are over.  Books are another story and rather fascinating in that they stay with you for days and weeks at a time.  It's like you have a whole other world sitting quietly on your nightstand, waiting for you to visit. I bond with the story and the characters, and once I am done reading the story I sometimes say I have a book hangover.  I might feel a little sad, or at a loss if the ending doesn't satisfy.There is some kind of pain knowing your first trip to that world has ended and visits with those characters are over.  I can often judge how well I have enjoyed a book by how bad my book hangover is, and this next one left me with a bad hangover.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is the story of a young German girl, Liesel, that is sent to live with foster parents in the years leading up to WWII.  She is heartbroken for having to leave her mother and losing her little brother on the journey to her new home.  In fact, the first book she stole was from one of the workers that dug her brothers grave.  Her foster mother is very cold and harsh at times, but does love her in her own way.  Her papa is gentle and wonderful.  He calms her from her nightmares each night and teaches her to read.  They form such a sweet bond and as Liesel grows older, she finds more books to steal so that her Papa can help her with the words.  Once the war breaks out, her foster parents take in a Jew, Max, and protect him from the Nazi's.  Liesel and Max form an unlikely friendship and he encourages her to begin writing her stories. You can foresee potential problems because we are familiar with the history here but you don't know Liesel's fate until the end. The narrator tells the story in a hauntingly beautiful way, almost like poetry at times.  Liesel's story truly pulled and tugged on my heartstrings and has found a nice dimly lit niche in my soul.   I have always had a soft spot in my heart for WWII stories, but this could be my favorite book for the year. I highly recommend it if you are interested in European or WWII history and want to get as close to living it as possible.

First Day of School

I have seen several variations of this quote on social media, "To be a mother is watching your heart walk around outside your body."  If there were any day for that to be proven true to me, it would be today.  Shadow started Kindergarten today and I've been having a hard time dealing with it.  I'm going to put most of the blame on pregnancy hormones mixed with the fact that for the first time in 2 years, I will not be at the same school as Shadow.  He sat down at his little desk and he said he would miss me.  We talked about what a fun first day he was going to have and asked me as I was leaving, "are you going to your classroom now?" I quickly said no, that I loved him and I would pick him up later, and walked out of the classroom saving my tears for the hallway.  I think both of us were missing TFCA a little bit today. Walking out of the school crying could have been embarrassing, but my mom assured me teachers have seen these kinds of parents before on the first day of Kindergarten.

I have probably looked at the clock every 15 minutes, waiting to go pick him up and ask him questions about his day. In the meantime, all I can think about is this:

                                                                          And this...

 And this....

And these too....among others

Parents feel growing pains too, just in a different way.  We truly need to savor and be grateful for each moment spent with our children and learn to pray that God will take care of them when we are not around.  Here is a back to school prayer someone posted on line that has been a huge comfort for me today.  If you have children getting ready to start school, I know you can relate and perhaps it can be a comfort to you as well.

"Dear God, Thank you for the gift of my children.  Please watch over them as they go back to school and protect them from negative influences.  Help them be a light to others, and help them show love, care, and respect to their friends and teachers. Please protect them from bullies, but if they face one, give them courage to stand up for themselves and others. Help them to remember when they are scared or afraid, You are there with them. As much as I love my children, You love them even more, and I know You will be watching out for them. Amen"

20 books in 2015- #'s 4 - 7

Well, 2015 is halfway over and I am less than halfway to my goal of reading 20 books this year.   The math teacher in me reasons that I should have been to 10 by now, and at this rate, my goal will not be reached.  A new baby on the way in September also adds a variable that may effect the outcome- BUT- I could still argue that there is plenty of time left to read 13 books if I can average 2.6 books or so for the remaining months.  I'm optimistic.

I'm doing some catching up by posting about books 4 - 7 in one post.  I have been lazy with my writing....again. I'll try to be brief:)

Book #4 was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.  I have been a fan of Disney's Alice in Wonderland for a long time but have never read the novel by Lewis Carroll.  The book is delightfully stranger than the film and includes stories and characters that you won't find in the Disney movie.   I admire how Alice can go through this land accepting it as it is.  I think it's always good for us to remind ourselves to never lose our childhood curiosity, or try to hard to be "normal".


Book #5 was STAR WARS: Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn.   I have always been a big fan of STAR WARS, but the thought of reading anything from the expanded universe was climbing too high on the geek scale for my taste.  There was a lull a couple months ago where I didn't have any books from my list at home or from the library.  In a moment of weakness, with an assist from Jordan, I took this one up.
This is the first book in a three volume series that takes place after the events of Return of the Jedi.   It took me a couple days to get into the book and get used to the language.  It's much more enjoyable to watch Star Destroyers and Tie Fighters battle X-wings on film than it is to read in a book. (Seriously, listen to this nerd talk!)
  All the characters I love are back and new characters are introduced. Here is the gist of it: There is a new Grand Admiral that is slowly rebuilding the Imperial Empire.  Darth Vader and the Emperor are dead, but the new admiral has help from an evil Jedi that wants to get his hands on Luke and Leia.  Leia and Han are married and expecting twins.  Luke is a more confident Jedi Knight. Lando is still a gambler and Chewbacca is still a wookie. The rebels try to stop the imperials from creating a new war, but are delayed by a group of rogue smugglers that can't decide if they want to help the Rebels or take favor with the new admiral.

Favorite Quote: "A Jedi can't get so caught up in matters of galactic importance that it interferes with his concern for individual people."

Book #6 - The Maze Runner by James Dashner.  After reading The Hunger Games and Divergent series I felt that this book lacked some originality, but it was still entertaining.  Right away you meet Thomas as he enters an area called "The Glade" that is surrounded by four walls and full of  young boys of various ages.  Thomas is about 16. He has no memory of his life before that, but he has a gut feeling that he is supposed to be beyond the walls.  Thomas quickly learns the social structure of his new home and tries out several jobs to find his place in the community, but it is the job of a runner that he desires most.  It is the runners responsibility to navigate the mazes that surround the four walls of the glade and find a way to escape.  They must return before the walls to the glade close at night or they most likely will not survive-for various reasons. It's a dangerous and tedious job because the walls of the maze change everyday, it's like starting new.  Then the first girl arrives in the glade and everything goes crazy.  Her memory is gone as well, except for the fact that she knows Thomas.

Book #7- Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn.  What a perfect book to cure my Gone Girl hangover.  Gillian Flynn is quickly becoming my favorite mystery/thriller writer. I hope she writes more books soon.  Sharp Objects is about a young reporter, Camille, that travels back to her small hometown in Missouri to investigate the murders of two young girls. Camille hasn't been home in years and isn't on the best of terms with her strict mother, or her teenage half-sister.  The more Camille tries to investigate the murders, the more haunted she becomes with her own past and vices.  She begins to identify with the victims and a horrible reality about her family soon comes to light.  It's hard to describe the book with out giving too much away.  If you liked Gone Girl I recommend this one.  The graphic language makes it a little hard to read at times, but you can't resist trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

Favorite Quote: " It is impossible to compete with the dead. I wished I could stop trying." -Camille

20 books in 2015- #3 The Devil in the White City

I actually finished this book about a month ago but have been delayed in writing about it.  Maybe that's because I'm not really sure what to say about it.  I liked it, and I didn't.  It was good, but wordy. Triumphant, yet dark.  The Devil in the White City had been on my list for about a year.  I was thinking it was a work of fiction but once I got my hands on it I saw it is actually a true story.  So I guess I was expecting something different and this is why I'm not sure how I feel about it. 

The Devil in the White City is about 2 people during the Chicago World's Fair.  One being the chief architect behind the Worlds Fair of 1893, Daniel Burnham.  The other being a young doctor named H.H. Holmes that killed several women visiting the city at that time. 

The entire time I was reading I was expecting these two to meet, but they never did.  Several chapters go into GREAT detail about the construction and planning of the World's Fair (Chicago residents called it the White City).  I was very impressed with this on the one hand and I learned a lot, but on the other, I was exhausted by all the people you had to learn and the terms and locations-it was too much.  I remember going to Chicago for a day trip when I was in the 9th grade.  Unfortunately, the only things my group wanted to do was shop and get dinner at Hooters (yes, quite unfortunately).  I would love to go back now and see some of these places now that I know the architect behind them.

The other chapters go into GREAT detail about this Dr. Holmes and his "murder castle." Dr. Holmes presented himself as a gentlemen.  He was handsome, personable ,and obviously very manipulative.  He had bought a property that rented rooms out to people that were in Chicago for the fair.  He made sure the apartments on the top floor couldn't hear anything coming from the basement which was well equipped with gas chambers and dissection tables.  Most of his tenants were young girls coming to the city in search of adventure. I hate to think about all the girls that lost their life to this psycho, and their families that never realized they wouldn't see their daughter or sister ever again.

Reading this book also reminded me why I like to read actual books.  I like to physically turn the pages and sometimes they smell really good.  I also came across this shopping list that was left by a previous reader.  A story within a story!  Who was this reader? Did they find their perfect Christmas tree? What pie were they going to make with the crust? Surely the peas weren't going into the pie.  Are they expecting company for the holidays? Is this why they need the aspirin?

I wasn't expecting a true story when I put this on my list, but it wasn't so bad.  It took me awhile to read though because some chapters were hard to get through-either because they were creepy or I got lost in all the architectural jargon.  But I was fascinated at the amount of time and dedication it took for Mr. Burnham and his team to make this fair a success.  I enjoyed learning the history of the fair and the people involved, but Dr. Holmes story distracted me from that a bit.  I found it hard to celebrate Mr. Burnham's achievement knowing Dr. Holmes was across town making his mark as one of America's first serial killers.  Let me leave you with this quote from Dr. Holmes.

"I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing — I was born with the "Evil One" standing as my sponsor beside the bed where I was ushered into the world, and he has been with me since."- H.H. Holmes