The things they don't tell you

Let me preface this by saying any references to "they" could be a number of things.   Family, friends, media, employers, strangers, bank tellers, etc.

When you don't have kids, they tell you, "They're such a gift, such blessings!"  "How can you not want/like kids?" "Don't you want to leave a legacy?"  "Won't you be lonely when you're old?"

When you're pregnant, they tell you, "Are you sure you're ready for this?" "Oh boy you're in for it now." "Isn't it so uncomfortable?" "Too soon?" "Too late?" "You will never sleep again." "That name? Really?!?"

When you have kids, they tell you, "Be firm." "You look tired." "Everything is about them now."  "Breastfeeding is best." "A pacifier? Why?!"  "Don't they have a bedtime?" "You're too easy with them." "Uh oh, someone is not happy!" (Ugh that last one, seriously. I'm standing right here so I have noticed the red faced screaming toddler is not happy. Thanks.)

But what they don't tell you are the things you least expect.  For example, when Lincoln turned three last year, I got teary eyed when I was about to throw away the 3 candle during clean up.  

Yes, a candle brought me to tears. I even took a picture of the moment because I was thinking, maybe I'll blog about this......4 months later.

Of all things.  Was it because it was the same candle that Shadow used for his 3rd birthday?  Was it because Lincoln was just a baby like 2 minutes ago and already he is 3?  Or was it because the act of throwing this candle away was another admittance that we were definitely done having kids?

Who knows.  Maybe it's all or none of those reasons.  It's these tiny, seemingly insignificant moments in time that they don't tell you about.  They never tell you that you will look at your children and your heart will just ache because you love them so much.  They never tell you that watching your kindergartner perform in the school play as a stink bug will make you ball like a baby.  They never tell you that a toddler singing "On top of spaghetti" time and time again will make you feel like you've birthed the next Tony award winner. And they most certainly don't tell you that throwing birthday candles away will get you all choked up.